Understanding that People won't Understand your Special Needs Child.

This topic has taken me quite some time to wrap my head around. You explain what your child needs to others, and they look at you like you're crazy. You explain what your family needs to others, and they override your requests. You panic when your airway baby gets sick, and people think you're over-reacting. Your special-needs child only eats only purees, yet others push solids at them. You take a break from therapy, and they give unsolicited advice.

You finally accept your child's differences, and others question them.

The list goes on and on. I could write a book on the things we have to do differently with our special-needs child or the way we have to do things as a family. Sometimes other people just don't get it. So you explain it to them, and they still don't get it! Sometimes those other people are family members, grandparents or even friends. They have good intentions, but push your limits on what you will accept for your child. I've had conversations with my husband when I'm upset about how someone questioned our parenting in regards to Dave, and he has told me time and time again, "Chrystal, they don't understand. They don't have a Davie!" And while that's true, it still hurts when people can stare right into your life and seemingly judge it when they haven't lived it. I took the same complaints to my mother a few years ago and she told me something that I will never forget. I was upset about how this certain person kept downgrading Davie's needs and put me in an over-protective light. I couldn't fathom how this person didn't "get it." After everything we had been through up until that point, how could they not see that we had to bubblewrap our Davie?! That's when my mom said this: "People will love Davie, but they will not understand Davie. You need to get over that." And so it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew others loved Davie. Maybe I subconsciously thought that if they loved him they would understand him. That's just not the case. The realization of her statement has helped me when I get uncomfortable with comments about Davie. Many times people mean well, but I take their interest in a negative way. It's easy for me to be pessimistic at times when I feel like people don't' see what all we do for Davie. I have advocated for him and pushed people out of their comfort zones for my child. I have drawn lines and boundaries for Davie. I have let out-of-line comments slide off my back and talked to God about being patient. Yet there are days where you just feel so out of place. You feel like you have to give excuses for your child or situation even when they're not warranted. I remember when we started therapy, and it didn't take long for me to see that those therapists and specialists get my child more than my family and friends do. It was so nice to explain something about Davie to his therapists and they simply got it! No condescending vibes or out-of-context questions. Therapy helped me just as much as it has helped Davie. You realize even more that those in and around the special-needs community are blessings in disguise. They are the givers of hope and light! So friend, know there will be many, many times where you have to put your foot down and stand your ground for your child wether it be for therapy, school or even a holiday event with family. Just remember that even if you explain to the tiniest detail what is going on with your child, some will still not understand. Give that portion of it to God. That will give you peace over everything.